While most of us simply want to mind our own business and go about our calm, peaceful lives, sometimes we’re made rudely aware of the fact that we can’t always escape noisy or otherwise annoying neighbors. The fact of the matter is that the people living near us can affect our quality of life, and when their behavior becomes too much to bear, taking the high road is no longer an option. That’s when you can try some clever, creative revenge plans to get your point across.
To get revenge on your neighbor without them knowing, you can try messing up their yard, sending religious groups or salespeople their way, putting a bird feeder right above their property, filling their locks with superglue, slathering vaseline on their doorknobs, or signing them up for junk mail.
Make sure to read on for 13 creative ideas on how you can get back at your neighbor without ever having to reveal your identity. If you want to take your revenge a step further, you can even combine several of these suggestions; however, I usually recommend going one step at a time, as you don’t want to go overboard. Without further ado, let’s get started!
1. Have Pets or Insects Destroy Their Yard
This one’s one of the best revenge plans out there, as you’ll be able to cause a great deal of annoyance without anyone being able to trace the whole ordeal back to you. There are several approaches you can take when it comes to this masterful revenge plan, so I’ll be giving you some options.
You can, for example, wait until it rains, then cover your neighbor’s yard or garden with bouillon cubes. The cubes will melt into the grass, leaving behind an aroma that no dog can resist, no matter how well-behaved the animal is.
Soon enough, the pup will start rampaging, trying to find the source of the smell, digging holes, and pulling grass left and right. Soon enough, the whole yard, along with your neighbor’s hard work, will be destroyed, and no one will be able to track the doggy’s suddenly erratic behavior back to you.
Another great way to get back at your neighbor through this approach is to research the pests most commonly attracted to their most-prized plant, go to your local botanic store, and purchase a bag of the species in question. The rest of the process is pretty self-explanatory. All that’s left to do is to spread the insects all over their yard and wait for them to do their own thing. Soon enough, their lovely plants will be half-eaten and destroyed.
2. Send Religious Groups or Sales People Their Way
This is one of the most harmless yet effective ways to get your revenge. Best of all, no one will ever suspect you’re the one who orchestrated the whole thing. If religious groups or annoying salespeople knock on your door, apologize and say you’re busy, but don’t forget to mention how your neighbor has recently taken an interest in their religion (or product, in the case of salespeople) and how much they’d appreciate their visit.
If you don’t have people dropping by often around your area (lucky you), you can go a step further and visit the online website of an organization that you know arranges these types of drop-bys and sign your neighbor up for their visits.
All that’s left to do now is go to your window and enjoy seeing your neighbor frustrated as salespeople and religious groups drop by their place five or six times a day. It’ll be even more entertaining watching them explain how they’re annoyed by these visits when they’ve allegedly signed up for them themselves.
3. Put a Bird Feeder in a Window That Looks Over Their House
This is yet another excellent revenge plan for which you won’t have to take any responsibility. If you have a window or balcony looking over their property, you have the perfect set-up for a bird feeder.
You can purchase one online or go the extra mile and build one yourself. Either way, make sure to put it in a location that’s not very visible from your neighbor’s property. Then, fill it with bird food and wait for the little avians to rush over to your window, leaving droppings all over your neighbor’s property in the process.
You’ll be keeping little birds fed while making your neighbor annoyed and confused – a win-win situation in my books. Watching them clean bird droppings day after day, wondering how this whole situation came to be so suddenly, might finally give you that sense of peace your neighbor has taken away from you in the first place.
4. Fill Their Locks With Superglue
This one’s not the most low-key approach, but especially lousy neighbors deserve an especially vicious revenge plan. However, keep in mind that for this method to work, you have to make sure that no camera is going to be catching you in the act. If you’re sure you can achieve that, then the plan it’s a go.
This method is pretty self-explanatory, sneak over to your neighbor’s house and take a superglue gun with you. Then proceed to fill all their locks, or at least the ones you have access to, leaving them out of their own house. This is a pretty drastic approach, as you’ll be ruining your neighbor’s whole week and costing them hundreds of dollars in doorknob replacements. However, if the conflict has simply gone too far, you might want to give this revenge plan a try.
5. Slather Their Doorknobs With Vaseline
If you’re sure you can get to your neighbor’s property undetected but don’t want to go as far as to fill their locks with superglue, you can choose a milder (but still petty and hilarious) approach. Try slathering all their doorknobs with vaseline.
However, make sure to wait by their window when they come back home, as you don’t want to miss out on that first attempt where they apply decent force expecting the knob to move only to have their hand slip, which often even causes them to lose their balance.
Then, watch them desperately trying to get a good grip around the knob, only to fail time and time again. Hopefully, the good laugh you’ll get from the whole ordeal will make it easier to deal with the stress of having unbearable neighbors. After that, imagining them finding one doorknob after the other, all covered in vaseline, will give you a sense of joy and sweet revenge all throughout the day.
6. Pour Instant Mashed Potato Mix Into Their Lawn
If you’re looking for a revenge plan that’s equal part hilarious and annoying, this is the way to go. If you’ve never used mashed potato mix before, you might be interested to know that all the powder needs to bloom into its true form is some water.
So, next time the weather report predicts heavy showers, head over to your neighbor’s lawn and pour some mashed potato mix in there. After the rain and moisture have done their job, your neighbor will be left with some glorious, fully-cooked mashed potato to clean up.
The look of pure confusion and annoyance on their face will be priceless, and hopefully, the struggle they’ll have to go through to clean all mess up will give them a taste of their own medicine.
7. Pour Salt Over Their Lawn
This is one of the meanest approaches I’ve covered on this list, as you’ll be throwing years of your neighbor’s hard work away in a matter of minutes. However, sometimes taking the high road simply isn’t enough to get your message through.
If your neighbor is particularly proud of their gardening skills, all you have to do to get back at them is to head over to their yard and pour salt over their meticulously-grown plants. You’ll be surprised at how quickly a lush, gorgeous garden can turn into a barren land once the salt dehydrates it enough.
8. Place Brightly-Colored Berries Near Their Car
Upon hearing this tip, most people would be confused. However, this is one of the smartest approaches you can take, as your role in your neighbor’s annoyance will only be indirect. However, there’s one rule for this method to work – your neighbor should park their car near a tree or any location where birds are bound to stumble upon.
Leaving brightly-colored berries (think strawberries, blueberries, and so on) near their car will lead to nearby birds dropping technicolor guano right on their front window. As if normal bird droppings weren’t hard enough to get rid of, these brightly-colored ones will be even more of a nuisance, and your neighbor won’t even know what hit them.
It’ll be even funnier if you repeat the process each time they change their parking location, so a bit of due diligence is necessary to make the most out of this prank.
9. Put Up Signs Advertising a Sale on Their Property
This one’s an oldie but a goodie, and with the convenience of the internet at our fingertips, it’ll be even easier to carry your revenge plan out without getting caught. Depending on what you think will attract more potential buyers, you can either list your neighbor’s house for sale (at a ridiculously low price, but not so low that it’s not believable), or you can advertise a garage sale on their property.
This next step is important – make sure to put opening hours as early as possible and encourage potential buyers to show up as soon as they can. Hearing your neighbor’s doorbell ring endlessly at 7:00 or 8:00 in the morning on a Sunday morning will finally make you feel vindicated.
10. Hide Leftover Food Near Their House
This is one of the simplest tricks in the book, but it works wonders. Depending on how malicious you plan to be, you can either try to cause some mild nuisance or opt to turn your neighbor’s house upside down – the choice is yours.
Again, your role in this revenge plan is indirect, so nobody’s going to be able to point fingers at you. All you have to do is hide food leftovers in random corners around their house and wait for nearby pests and animals to do their job. Make sure, however, that you place your leftovers in inconspicuous spaces, as you don’t want them cleaned before the ant colonies have a chance to march over to the house.
If that fails, you can cut the middle man and directly place ants or spiders near your neighbor’s house, knowing full well that all they’re looking for is a warm shelter where they can reproduce.
11. Sign Them Up for Junk Mail
If you don’t want to give your neighbor a chance to explain themselves to salespeople that they don’t want to be bothered, you can simply sign them up for spam/junk mail. Bonus points if you sign them up for something embarrassing that’s hard for them to trace back and cancel.
Just make sure to keep an eye out the window to see the frustration and anger on your neighbor’s face when they open up their mail, only to find the 104th edition of Miniature Donkey Talk Magazine.
12. Play a Phone Prank
A “classic” way to get back at neighbors, or to simply annoy them, is phone pranks. But there are two things you need to do if you want to keep your identity hidden.
First, you have to hide your phone number. The simplest way is with an online calling service that hides the numbers. And second, you need to make sure your neighbors won’t be able to recognize your voice. For example, you can change your accent, keep your nose closed, or use another similar technique.
13. Use Unbearable Smells
If you can’t get your neighbor annoyed through ants, destroyed yards, or superglued doorknobs, using a rancid smell will surely do the trick. Rotten foods, for example, are always an excellent choice, as they’re easy to access and create aromas that can linger for days, if not weeks.
Simply make sure to put your weapon of choice in an inconspicuous corner where your neighbor wouldn’t think to check.
Conclusion
In your quest for some peace and quiet, you sometimes have to get creatively revengeful. Luckily, there are plenty of effective, non-confrontational ways for you to send a message to your neighbor without revealing your identity.
However, as you get your sweet, much-needed revenge, make sure not to go too far or risk getting into legal trouble. Moreover, always try to choose approaches that don’t impact anyone else but your annoying neighbor, as you don’t want to turn into the very thing you’re fighting against.
By all means, treat these tips as creative inspiration – tweak and adjust as needed.
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